dearest cal and ryl.. i also dno why my life is soooo shitty now. i have so much free time you know like seriously. I have 4 modules to attend but i can skip two of it cuz my chinese is of a certain level so out of 5 sch days i only need to attend 2 days, plus im soooooo lazy my lessons are all at 8am sometimes i just attend 2 lessons per week. cal ryl!!! thats not the worse, i started to hang out w my seniors and they are the drinking smoking kind. they brought me and my roomie to our first cubbing experience here in jinan. they are really nice la they treat me like damn shit nice and protect me alot cuz im the youngest out of our 'clique'. then now that we have so little classes my class is starting to hang out more. we are kind of split into 2 sects, the smoke drink gang and the study gang. so u know i used to be close to both groups cuz im the youngest and everyth likes me but now im starting to go to sch less and less im feeling that the study grp likes me less and less too.. so that day we had a partyy cuz it was my friend's bday, that was the day i got super close to the drink/smoke grp cuz we had so much beer and just shisha till morning and my friend taught me to smoke OMG LA. u know it sucks to be the youngest really they let me do ANYTHING i want they teach me everyth they ask me to try everyth ARGHHHHHHHH i hate this, like i know im changing my friends tell me im becoming prettier im dressing better and all but the fact that i myself know im changing means its not good!! you understand?? like some pple they become shittier bitchier and they dunt know it but i know it and i dunt really like it, i have alot of friends now everyday aft sch i just laze arnd watching guys, playing arnd in our playground, going out shopping bla bla bla but my life has no meaning at all LIKE AT ALL I TOTALLY HATE IT. everyday its just the same routine, i sleep late i wake up late go to sch late, aft sch i change and go out to the playground wait for all the koreans and whatever race to finish sch then i play till like 8 plus 9 go and eat dinner see if my friends are arnd, go to the cafe sit arnd drink bla bla and sleep. I FUCKING HATE THIS.

ok so abt church, i feel so guilty really. i cannot find a suitable church i like and u know now everyday to me is like the same monday like sunday sunday like tuesday whatver like that i dunt even rmb the dates or days everyday. plus my parents still think im gng to church every week. and i started using fuck alot alrdy. cal is studying overseas like that? no right, i really think its my personality like im crazy and easily influenced and all shit la. in spore i was kinda like that in sec sch rmb. ah fuck.

anyw abt this guy i like. im gna make it short cuz i hate talking abt guys in length now. he is korean frm busan, this plc i totally like even before i came here, and the most fated of fates is that he has the exact same watch as me. HOW COOL IS THAT RIGHT. one day we were talking then i was like omg how come yr watch so familiar and i looked at mine its the EXACT same one!!!!!! so ya. he is 26 doing his masters in um..... finance? im not sure what its called in english also. im not that sure whether i like like him anyw cuz he invited me to his room to 'zuo fan' which is like cook dinner or what, its quite common for pple to invite others to zuo fan. and when i was in his room it was quite weird. i mean nothing happened la. but he was just weird i also dno how to say.

anyw do u guys wna blog here. no one comes here alrdy anyw so ya. talk to you both soon k <3